Greetings
to all of you!!!!
I
hope and pray you are well. I wanted to
follow up with some ideas on processing emotion and dealing with what we are
feeling.
For
those who have not heard my talk I will repeat that it is important to be mindful
of what we are feeling. And it is ok to
feel what we feel. We have been created with these complex emotions and we are
facing a time when we:
1)
Will
be feeling things we may not have felt before.
We have not faced a global pandemic to this caliber and
expectation. We have not been isolated from
society for so long or had our entertainment sector shut down. This is a whole new emotional world for us, and
it is prolonged. We will experience this
for a while. This will crate new feelings
in us, or it will rekindle very old ones. We should be prepared to feel things
we have not faced before.
2)
Have
very few distractions. We have surrounded
ourselves with many distractions, such as sports, entertainment, 24 hour shopping,
other social interactions. These by themselves
are not a negative, but they have for too long allowed us to gloss over, hide
from, or ignore what we are feeling.
They have drawn energy away from the deep mining of our emotions and our
relationships. Now with those distractions
gone we face these emotions, feelings, thoughts in a new and vibrant way. They are there in front of us. We have to work much harder to find ways around
them, when in reality we should face them.
It
is okay to feel what you are feeling.
There is nothing wrong with you and there is no reason to shame yourself
for what you feel. The key is what do
you do with what you are feeling.
-Acknowledge
your feeling. Acknowledge the feeling
you are having. Give it a name and allow
it to exist. When we can identify something,
we can take some control over it. Put a
name to the feeling you are having. And
be settled with the feeling. Resist the
urge to push it away or ignore it. It is
there so let it be. Let it flow through your
as water through a filter. It may be
slow but that is Okay. Let the feeling
be part of who you are.
-Realize
that it won’t last forever. The feeling you are
having will not last forever. It will
pass in time. You all have experience with
feelings passing. That is how we live
our lives, with a mix of feelings that come and go. Every day we experience joy, sadness, hope,
peace, unease. It is part of the daily journey
of life. And in the daily journey those
feelings come and go, they flow in and out.
Some reside longer than others, and require more attention, but they
fade or are replaced with other feelings.
These feelings are no different, they will not last forever. And they will come back, they will flow in
and out.
-Accept
that there is nothing wrong with how you feel.
Our
feelings are based on impulses from our brain formed over years and years of
repeated experience, or the complete lack of experience. They are not meant to be judged positive of
negative. They are how you feel. The is no reason to place judgment or shame
on them.
-There
is no need to dwell in them. We have
these feelings and they ebb and flow.
The come and go as we alter our focus.
That is the way it should be. Yet
the desire to draw them back or hold on to feelings can be strong. Let them flow through you. The joys and the sorrows. It is okay to experience joy in this time. As well it is okay to experience sorrow in
this time. We are not required to dwell
in any one specific emotional category, even if others are choosing to remain
there. We get to choose where we will
dwell emotionally.
-Some
things that can help:
Journaling: The process of writing
down your thoughts and feelings. There
really is no right or wrong way to journal.
Journaling can be done in narrative form, telling a story. Thought journaling, which is writing out thoughts
in sentence or paragraph form. Or just
simple words to express how you feel or what you think. Putting things down on paper can help to realize
them. Also it can give you a frame of
reference to examine if you have felt or through that before.
Deep
questioning: This
is the process of mining the feeling or thought. Why am I thinking this way? What is driving my feeling around this or at
this time? What is going on inside me or
around me? Is it physical: over tired,
hungry, thirsty, caffeine deprived, lack of sun light? Is it emotional: Fear, anxiety, worry, disconnection? Spending time questioning the emotion, asking
those deep questions. Does this have to
do with my past or future?
Light
Therapy: Getting outside in the sun
light. Taking in the light and warmth. Receiving a does of vitamin D. It is proven that people respond better and
feel better when they get a good dose of sunlight. It helps physically and mentally.
Exercise: Moving is very important. Taking a walk around the block, going up and
down stairs, anything to get your body moving.
It does not have to be an intense workout, just move.
Talking
to someone: Communication is a big part of our identity. We are social creatures, so we need to
communicate with others. Talking to someone
can change how we feel. It does not have
to be a “Therapy session” though those are not bad, but a simple conversation
about life, dinner menu, favorite TV show.
Anything to draw one into the realm of communication and connection to another
person’ existence.
Focused
breathing: Take a moment to focus
on your breathing. Take a few deep
breaths in and out. Inhale for a 3 count,
hold for a 3 count, exhale for a 3 count.
By focusing on your breathing, you make your mind work on something
else. This will allow what your feeling
to flow through you more the get stuck in you.
Meditation: Set aside a few minutes of quiet time to free your
mind This can be done in conjunction with the focused breathing.
Pets: Studies have shown that spending time with a
pet, can lower anxiety and can increase mood.
If you have pets spend time with them.
Disconnect: It is important to get information. It is also important to disconnect and let
you brain process the information, placing it in levels of importance. Making sure you have plenty of time for your brain
to chew through and deal with what you put in will help to regulate
emotion. It is okay to leave social media
for a span of time. It is okay to turn
off the news or the opinion shows. It is
okay to listen to music or dwell in silence.
Disconnecting and giving our brain time to process.
